its been way too long.

its been forever since i wrote on here and i felt really bad lol :) so i thought i should update everyone. i am no longer living with my family because of personal issues that came up. now im actually living with my fiance and his family who graciously took me in.. im so grateful for them, not sure what i would do if i didnt have them. i absolutly love them! especially my step mother in law and sister in law, they are always there to talk to which i didnt have before and its nice to have now. Ben and i are looking for our own apartment soon just cuz we want our own space. and i think we've found the right one.. the only problem is its in elkton and im not that fond of elkton but it might have to do for now. im going to get a puppy soon, :) his name is Mushu-Pork :)and im going to put a picture below i named him Mushu after the dragon from Mulan :) lol and then we're getting another puppy, (its going to be my sister in laws but its staying with us cuz they dont have the room) and his name is Bear-Bear :) they are brothers so they should get along fine.. they're only 2 weeks old right now. so we cant get them for a little bit. Bear-Bear is such a cute little greyish/black and he looks like a little bear, and my Mushu has a yin-yang on his head! :D i cant wait to have my puppies in my arms :) im so attached to them and ive never even seen them in person yet lol. ben and i do a little wedding planning in our spare time but the wedding dress that i fell in *LOVE* with is no longer being made or sold in any stores :'( and the only person i could find that would sell it to me is selling it for $2,000!!!!!!!! and i cant afford that so i guess i got to settle for something else... :( but even though i cant have my dress im sure i can find something.. nothing else will go wrong with the wedding..i will make sure of it lol :) i cant wait for my wedding day im so excited :) well i think this is a long enough post for now...

ENGAGED!!

ok so i've got some big big big news people!!!!! my wonderful amazing boyfriend proposed to me! and i said yes!!!! me!! engaged!!! :) yay!!!!im so happy!

big decisions...

its been a while since i last put a new post..been busy lately. ive been looking everywhere for a job since i cant go to the college now. i just have to go to communtiy for the first year or two. it was sad and dissapointing that i couldnt go. but i was really happy cuz now i can stay with my boyfriend. which makes me very happy. i dont know what i would do if i had to live without him. he gave me his class ring and i love it. it has not left my finger since he gave it to me lol :) tomorrow i have to have dinner with his mom and grandmother o.O ahhhh!!! i hope they like me. cuz it would be bad if they didnt. i hope i dont screw things up.... summer seems to be flying by. not sure where all the time has went..

long time and lots of stuff

ok so its been like forever since my last post..oh well..i dont have that many followers anyways lol :) well lets see...i went on my senior trip..flordia was amazing!! i would love to go back someday. i graduated on may 30th. it was certaintly an experience i will never forget. everything was going so well..but then at the end of the ceremony i walk to the wrong place...with everyone watching!! so i had to run back to the place i was supposed to be before mr. dickerson finished his prayer...oh my! lol i could hear the snickers coming from people who should have had their eyes closed lol oh well...as fun and exciting as graduation was..i am looking forward to next week more than anything.. :) next week on june 14 makes 2 months that i have been with my amazing boyfriend!! so exciting!! i love him and his family(thats a good bonus lol(:) maybe we will do somethng special for our 2 month...maybe i'll make him a good dinner or maybe we'll just go out for something but i really do want to do something special especially since i leave in july :( part of me is so looking foward to this opporutinty but the other part of me doesnt want to leave him. i know that its going to hurt but i know what i have to do.which is why i want to make the most out of the time that i have left with him right now...i cant waste a single minute..


IMPORTANT P.S. JUST TO LET EVERYONE WHO READS THIS KNOW..THIS IS NOT THE SAME GUY AS IN THE LAST POST..LIKE I SAID I DONT WRITE VERY MUCH AND I DIDNJT WRITE WHEN I GOT MY NEW BOYFRIEND..BEN <3 ..BUT YEAH.. I THOUGHT THAT WAS SOMETHING IMPORTANT THAT I HAD TO WRITE DOWN.. AND IT IS...AND I PUT IT IN ALL CAPS SO EVERYONE KNOWS ITS IMPORTANT LOL :)

from cooking to senior trip to boys to my world....

ok. so its been a while since i put my last post up.. lots of stuff has happened..where shall we begin??

i participated in a scholarship cookoff for my college..but i didnt win. i was the most inexpericed person there and i placed 5th so it wasnt too bad but i wished that i had done better..but i did gain some very valuable knowledge :)

this tuesday i will be leaving for my senior trip! i am going with the Beckers to Disneyworld! should be lots of fun..

i revealed to the world that i had a boyfriend...he then proposed to me!!!! i couldnt say yes at 17, that would be way too foolish and immature....so then he dumped me :'( whoever said it was better to loved and lost than to never have loved at all...was a very stupid person! but i got me some good friends who helped me get over his stupid butt...or at least we're in the process of getting over him...

lately it seems like that my world is crumbling down around me and i can do nothing but sit back and watch it...every day seems to be a challenge and sometimes late at night when im thinking about the next day...i sometimes wish that i didnt have to get up and face the next day...

~love quotes~

again im sitting here trying to figure out what to put on my blog that you guys really want to read..since there's not much really going on with me..im just gonna put up some quotes that i found and i like..

Love is always patient, and kind, it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited, it is never rude or selfish, it does not take offense and it is not resentful.. it is always ready to excuse, to trust to hope and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end...

To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life..is to risk nothing.

I'll get over you..nothing else can get me down because ive been lower on the ground than you can imagine..as long as you're not around i'll make it through and i'll get over you..cause you are not worth my heart and you'll never hurt any part of me again..

what to post??? hmmm good question

im sitting here..thinking of what to put on my blog.. there is so much that i could say but i wont.. those are my secrets to bear.. no one else needs to know...im trying to think of something good and happy to post up here for all ya'll people to read..but so far..i've got absolutly nothing..been a hectic couple of days..actually a hectic couple of weeks. there have been some happy moments and a whole bunch of sad moments but thats really what makes it life. its like a rollercoaster goes up and goes down but either way its still going....

hope

HOPE: hope is what guides me..it guides me through the day and especially through the night..when everything is crashing down around me..as long as i have hope i will be ok.

heartbroken..

there's always that one friend that you thought would always be there for you..and when you find out that they dont care about you and never did it hurts.. it hurts really bad..and when you feel like you want to die from the pain. the pain in your heart that hurts so bad the rest of you body hurts..when you need someone the most and it seems like no one is there.. thats when your true friends come to your rescue. and you may have lots of true friends but there's always that one who stands out above the rest.. the one who stays up with you every night for a week while your crying.. who would beat anyone up who tried to hurt you..who cares about you so much that when you're in pain..they're in more pain just watching you try to handle it.. when you find that person..never ever let them go. they will never hurt you..always be there..that person cares more about you than anyone else in the world..and i am so thankful that i found mine. mine is the best!! he's like the big brother i never had.. when other's let me down..or when a guy breaks my heart he's always been there.

ps. as i was posting this he read it and wanted me to add: if a guy ever breaks my heart again they better watch out. :)